Florida school shooting: Parents, students asking tough questions about safety

In this new normal, students are learning how to act in an active shooter situation.

Florida Today

17 people were confirmed dead in the Parkland school shooting
Nikolas Cruz was charged with 17 counts of premeditated murder in the shooting
Shooting began near dismissal time; police say Cruz began the rampage outside before entering school

I got home Wednesday night to find my wife in tears, glued to the TV.

Students released from a lockdown embrace following following a shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

She’s a middle school teacher, and watching the horror unfold after the high school shooting in Parkland made her think about many things:

• She felt for the families who lost their children.

• She felt for the teachers who were in harm’s way, and some lost their lives.

• She felt for her own students who would have many questions the next day.

• She felt for herself, knowing the possibility exists that this could happen at any school.

As she watched the news, our 3-year-old daughter played happily in the background with no understanding of the tragedy that took place earlier in the day.

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The first thing I did was pick her up and hold her tight. We have a thing where I ask her for a “big hug,” and she wraps her arms around me with all her might. I needed a “big hug” at that moment.

What do you tell kids?

I can’t fathom what the Parkland community is going through, and each story you hear, like the coach who died taking bullets to shield students, makes you feel even more heartbroken.

Then my wife asked me a question: “what would you tell the students when they ask questions tomorrow?”

It’s a hard question because I’m not sure if teachers could, or should, tell the full truth.

Personally, not being a teacher, I would tell students that school campuses are as safe as the administration and school district can make them, but if someone has it in their mind to do the unthinkable like shoot up a school, it’s hard to stop them.

A family reunites following a shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, on Feb. 14, 2018.

However, if I were a teacher, I’d probably just say the first part: school campuses are as safe as the administration and school district can make them.

I wouldn’t want to alarm the kids or make them feel less safe.

However, if they asked what they should do if a shooter were on campus, I'd have to be candid.

I’d tell them we should have a strategy so they can be prepared in case of an active shooter at their school.

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Be prepared

In an article by Jay Bazzinotti on quora.com, he says: "Originally the main thought was to 'run or hide' but that thinking has changed. While running or hiding from a crazed gunman is not necessarily a bad idea it needs to be modified both to increase the chance of escape or evasion but to impact the brains of the people running and hiding later. People who act, rather than simply react tend to recover mentally and emotionally quicker than people who simply cave in to the situation.”

In other words, know what you’re going to do. If exits aren’t an option, lock the doors. If you think the shooter is entering the room, be prepared to fight back: throw chairs, desks and books at him.

Bazzinotti says: “It’s better to die fighting than to die cowering so use any object at hand and fight.”

If students are able to get outside the school, they should run as fast as they can. It’s much harder for a shooter, who most likely has adrenaline pumping and isn’t fully steady, to hit a fast-moving target. Plus, unless you’re the specific target, the shooter most likely isn’t going to chase you.

Finally, Bazzinotti says: “Don’t surrender. The work of the shooter doesn’t end when he’s dead or arrested. His actions are like acid corroding the souls of the victims long after he’s gone. Don’t surrender to him or he wins. Return to normal life when you can. … Work to come to terms with the events. Forgive yourself and others for anything that happened. There are no cowards in this kind of situation.”

Changes?

I understand that school security is limited to the amount of money the state and nation can put into each school. So metal detectors or security teams for all schools just isn’t an option.

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So we need rules that make it harder for shooters to enter schools with guns.

• For instance, should we adopt regulations like sports stadiums: only see-through bags or no backpacks at all?

• We live in the digital age. Is it time to do away with heavy books and have all materials available online anyway? Then backpacks become less needed.

• We should ensure there’s only one point of entry at a school. Many schools are like this: where the front office is the only way in, and all other doors are locked. But many schools aren’t there yet. We need to get there.

I couldn’t imagine being a teacher this week, having to have these conversations with students. Or being a parent with a child of the age where we have to have these discussions.

My daughter isn’t that far away from that time. Heck, if you look at the Sandy Hook shooting, you realize that no age is safe.

All we can do is stay vigilant and live our lives to the fullest. You never know when it will end.

So hug your kids tonight and tell them you love them. Because there are a lot of parents in Parkland who can no longer do that, and I’m sure they’d love just one more chance that they’ll unfortunately never get.

Walters, sports editor atFLORIDA TODAY and TCPalm, has been writing the Daddy Duty column since 2014.

Contact Walters at 321-242-3681

or twalters@floridatoday.com.

Some Brevard Public Schools have circulated these websites to help when talking to students about the tragic events of Wednesday.

All grades:

* Helping Youth after Community Trauma: Tips for Educators:

http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/helping_youth_after_community_violence_educators.pdf

* School Crisis Guide, pages 29-32 http://healthyfutures.nea.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/schoolcrisisguide.pdf

* School Safety and Crisis: Brief Facts and Tips Addressing Grief: http://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources/school-safety-and-crisis/addressing-grief

Resources for Teachers/Parents:

* Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/helping_teens_with_traumatic_grief_caregivers_final.pdf

* Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers